


The Look

by Areugoinghome



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Fluff, Forgiveness, Kissing, Love, M/M, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 16:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6863092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areugoinghome/pseuds/Areugoinghome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert misses having Aaron's full attention. He remembers the way that Aaron used to look at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Look

Robert glanced up at Aaron who was tapping away on his phone with a slight frown between his eyebrows. Probably answering another text from Liv. Robert bit his lip in hesitation.

”I was thinking maybe we could head into town later for some dinner or something? Just you and me.” Robert suggested, trying to make it sound casual by shrugging his shoulders.

Robert tried his best to hide the desperation in his eyes, his voice and his heart. He didn’t want Aaron to know just how badly he craved some time alone with him. Away from Liv. Away from Chas. Away from the pub. Even away from the village. To have Aaron’s full attention just for a couple of hours. Robert couldn’t help feeling neglected by Aaron over the past couple of months. He knew that Aaron have had a lot going on with Liv and with Gordon but that didn’t change the fact that Robert missed him. He missed Aaron so badly he physically hurt. Which was rediculous considering the fact that he was sitting right in front of Robert, but he still just wasn’t quite there. Not in the way that he used to be. He wasn’t focusing on Robert. Only a slight part of Aaron’s attention was angled towards him while the rest of Aaron was somewhere else. Somewhere Robert wasn’t invited to, somewhere he couldn’t see. Somewhere Robert wanted to reach and pull away so badly because he knew that place wasn’t a good place to be at. He just didn’t know how to reach it. He didn’t know how to be enough.

Robert had even found himself wishing he could go back to when he and Aaron was still just having an affair. Back to the way Aaron’s full attention would always be focused solely on Robert. He remembered how incredibly precious the few stolen hours together here and there had been. It had just been them. Existing in a world of their own where it was all about each other. The way Aaron would gasp and moan Robert’s name like it was a prayer when he was getting close. The way Aaron’s wet lips tracing over his skin would set fire to every cell in Robert’s body. A freaking explosion could not have broken the magical connection between them when they laid postcoital, tangled up in one and other while sharing lingering kisses. The undescribable emotion in Aaron’s eyes when he would look at Robert while running a hand through his sweaty messed up hair. Like Robert was the only man left in the entire world, like he was Aaron’s world. It was intoxicating. Robert’s chest would almost burst from the love flowing through his veins. It had also scared the crap out of him. Since Robert had tried his very best to deny the deep feelings he was quickly developing for Aaron. That look though, god that look was something Robert couldn’t even try to deny or supress. The feeling it brought was unbeatable. The feeling of being someone's everything. The feeling of being someone's number one.

Now, Robert couldn’t even remember the last time Aaron had looked at him long enough to let any of those emotions show, if they were even still there. Robert didn’t want to put pressure on him or act like a jelaus child, however, the feeling was still present. The feeling of not being seen. Not being appreciated. Not being the first choice. Not being loved. No longer being enough to draw Aaron’s attention from the rest of the world. 

Aaron looked up from his phone, meeting Robert’s eyes, the ones that Robert was doing a brilliant job of leaving any trace of his true feelings out of. 

”I told Liv I’d help her with some school project, maybe we could grab a quick pint here afterwards?” Aaron proposed with an apologetic look on his face.

The hope that had started to build inside of Robert came crashing down. The dissapointment rippled through him and his heart sunk. Once again he came in second place. Just like it had been all his life. It was just a stupid dinner on a regular Thursday night, but Robert couldn’t help but feel immensly let down. It was ridiculous really, still he felt like shit.

”Oh right, it’ll probably take all night so i’ll just see you tomorrow instead.” Robert said trying to sound as neutral as he could possibly manage. 

He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and left in a hurry before Aaron could even reply. 

Confused and ashamed of the burning feeling behind his eyeslids he quickened his steps, desperate to get out of there. Robert exhaled sharply as the evening air hit his face. The feelings he had supressed over the last couple of months finally seemed to boil up to the surface. As he closed the door to his sisters box room his vision was blurred by the tears that started to trail down his face. I really am pathetic, Robert thought to himself as he curled up on the bed.

What Robert didn’t realise was that the exterior he had put on to cover up his true feelings had cracked for just a moment as Aaron had answered his question. For that short moment Aaron saw something that absolutely broke his heart. The raw hurt, pain and sadness that had passed Robert’s face oh so quickly shocked Aaron. It suddenly dawned on him exactly what lied beneth Robert’s emotions. It was like Aaron was struck by lightning. Every small sign that Robert had shown during the last few weeks, which Aaron hadn’t noticed at the time, started to play on Aaron’s mind. The way Robert would study Aaron’s face so intently when he thought he didn’t notice, like Robert was desperately searching for something more. The way his shoulders would sink that tiny bit when Aaron told him that Liv would join their dinner in the pub. The way Robert’s eyes had fallen to the floor when Aaron told him that he couldn’t go to Barcelona. The smile Robert had on his face when he watched Aaron from a corner as he drank from a welly, surrounded by his family, suddenly contained a trace of sadness when Aaron really thought about it. These were only a few of the moments that sprung to Aaron’s mind as he understood what feelings Robert had been hiding and keeping to himself. Robert felt left out. He felt ignored and probably unwanted. Aaron’s heart ached when he realised that he had caused those feelings. He had just been so caught up with everything else that he hadn’t even noticed. What made him feel even worse was the fact that Robert had not complained. Not once had he let Aaron know that he was hurting. Too busy making sure that Aaron was alright. Aaron was once again blown away and frankly terrified when he started to grasp the enormity of Robert’s love for him. The man that would hurt in silence as long as Aaron was okay. Aaron’s need to go see Robert took over his body.

Robert laid curled up on his bed starring at the wall in front of him when he heard a light knock on his door.

”I’m not in the mood Vic. Just leave me alone please.” Robert tirelessly spoke up and wiped at the already dried tears under his eyes.

He heard the door creek open anyways and let out a deep sigh.

”Seriously Vic just leave will...” Robert started pleading as he turned around and frose in suprise. 

”Aaron? What.. what are you doing here?” Robert stuttered confused as he sat up on the bed.

”Are you okay?” Robert continued worridly, feeling his body tense as he saw the look on Aaron’s face as he closed the door behind him.

Aaron felt his heart swell. Of course Robert would worry about Aaron’s well being even though Robert was the one in pain.

”Yeah I’m fine.” Aaron assured warmly as he made his way over to the bed. He sat down next to Robert their knees brushing together. Aaron could see the blonde man’s shoulders relax as he understood that nothing was wrong with him. Aaron looked into Robert’s eyes before he continued softly.

”I was more worried that you aren’t.”

Robert’s heart started beating faster. Could Aaron see that he had been crying? Robert furrowed his brows trying to hide the panic flaring inside of him.

”What are you on about?” he asked a bit taken aback.

”I mean for once I’m not the one of us who isn’t fine.” Aaron stated softly and placed his hand over Robert’s while looking at him as if to incurage Robert to open up.

Robert felt a warm surge through his body from Aaron’s thumb softly drawing circles on the back of his hand. His face heated up and he couldn’t hold Aaron’s warm gace any longer. 

”Aaron, I’m fine.” Robert lied quietly and shrugged his shoulders while desperately attempting to crack a honest smile which he failed miserably. 

Aaron could see it so clearly now. How broken the beautiful man in front of him looked. 

”Robert, I’m so sorry.” Aaron whispered and felt the tears start to form in his eyes.

”Hey. What for?” Robert asked confused and lifted his other hand to cup Aarons cheek. 

Once again the worry and love that took over Robert’s eyes made Aaron’s heart ache. How was it possible that he held this man’s heart. How could Aaron not have seen what had been right in front of him all this time.

”For not going out to dinner tonight. For being busy with Liv. For being so occupied with everything else going on that I haven’t been there for you like you are always there for me. I’m so sorry Robert. I never ment to make you feel unwanted, or like you are second best because your not.” Aaron almost stumbled over his words, desperate to apologize. 

Robert felt like a wave of emotions washed over him. His eyes widened as he tried to take in what the dark haired man in front of him had just said. He shook his head, tryig to process what was happening.

”How, how did you..” Robert mumbled stunned. Searching Aaron’s blue eyes, trying to understand how the man in front of him seemed to know Robert better than he knew himself.

Aaron smiled softly and lifted his hands to the back of Robert’s neck. Softly running his fingers through Robert’s blonde hair, sedning shivers down his spine.

”I saw your face when I told you I couldn’t go into town. And it sort of just hit me. What I couldn’t see before. I’m sorry I’ve been so caught up in my own mess I was too blind to notice..” Aaron trailed off. He lent in and rested his forhead against Robert’s. Their warm breaths tangled together as they rested against one and other. Their lips only milimeters apart as they inhaled and exhaled in harmony. Robert felt a single tear roll down his cheek. Aaron pulled back and found Robert’s green eyes again. And there it was, after all this time. The look. The one that said it all. The one that made Robert’s whole world come to a halt. The one that made Robert’s heart double in size, beat out of his chest and make a backflip all at once. Robert suddenly knew what Aaron was going to say before he even opened his mouth. Because his eyes had already said it all.

”I love you Robert. I love you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far thank you so much for reading! I don't really know what this is it just sort of wrote itself. Sorry if it's rubbish.  
> I always appreciate your thoughts, good or bad I'd love to hear what you think! :)


End file.
